Mindful Mondays|Week 23: Watching the Watcher

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To begin, find a comfortable and quiet space where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes. Find a relaxed yet alert posture that you can maintain. Close your eyes to minimize distractions. Take a long, cleansing breath and find a calm, quiet attitude.

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Inside this space in your brain, find your breath’s rhythm and follow it. It’s that simple. Watch the inhale as it rises and peaks. Watch the exhale as it falls and stills. Watch the inhale all the way to the peak and the exhale all the way to the stillness at the bottom of the breath.

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Now for a few moments, can you be aware of the one watching as you watch your breath? See if you can zoom out to watch the watcher? Stay steady on yourself in your mind’s eye as you are the one watching your breath.

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Can you zoom out even once more to find the watcher who is watching the watcher watching the breath? Can you allow your mind to get lost in the kaleidoscope of watching — all while focusing on the inhale and exhale from start to finish?

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Today we tried this practice of watching the watcher. This is a method to keep the focus strongly on the breath, without losing the awareness of the present moment. You aren’t in the breath or in the watching. You are the breath, and you are the watching. Your awareness is the thing that’s allowing you to focus on whichever thing you choose — the anchor of the breath, the watching the watcher watch the breath, or any number of the outside focuses or the other watchers. This creates a zooming effect of focus. When you do this, you are training your mind to stay present to even the details zoomed in on the breath itself or zoomed out on whichever watcher you’d like. The universe abounds in opportunities of focus. Today you chose stillness and focused well on that for these minutes. Congratulate yourself on staying with it on a journey inward and outward and above and around.

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When you’re ready, open your eyes and move watchfully back into your day. Be well, Survivors.

Mindful Mondays|Week 13: Mindful Moment

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Today is more of a classic meditation, so let’s settle into a seated position. A posture of restfulness but alertness. Before you close your eyes, take a moment to ground yourself in the room or space you are in. Gently gaze at the objects in front of you … to your left … to the right … and above you. Try to notice the dimensional space surrounding you and feel a sense of security in this area that you chose to meditate in today. Now let’s close the eyes and take a few centering breaths to settle into this moment.

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Right now, right here, in this mindful moment, there is nothing to do, nowhere to go. No productivity or creativity is needed, neither any special talents, or anything that needs thinking through. No worry is helpful here. All this is is a few minutes of following your breath, observing yourself breathe, staying in the moment trying to notice when thought sweeps you away, and then coming back to the breath once you realize. There is no judgment here. Your mind is thinking because that’s what the mind does. It’s doing what it knows how. What you are doing here for a few minutes is asking your brain to focus on one sole thing: the breath. This can be a hard task. The practice is in the noticing your mind when it drifts away into thought and then bringing it gently back. That’s what meditation is. Meditation does not mean you can stay with the breath the longest; it means you can catch the wandering and bring it back — over and over and over.

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Where is your mind now? Have you lost track of your breath? Just realize it. Note “thinking” to yourself and just come back to focusing only on your breath.

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We aren’t trying to change the breath or manipulate it in any way. We are just sitting in our seat of observance, watching ourselves breathe. Following the breath like a game of “follow the leader” — watching each inhale, the pause, and each exhale. Notice the length of the breath. Feel the soft moment of pause between breaths. Just create a moment of peace focusing on this breath and this breath and this one.

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If you’ve slid into thinking, that’s okay. Note to yourself “thinking” and gently recalibrate your mind back to the focal point of the breath.

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Today was a training practice — a more standard version of mindfulness. Allowing your brain to get lost in thought, noticing it, and bringing it back again and again — that is meditation. Mindfulness doesn’t have to be fancy or difficult. It’s just a few minutes of space to allow your mind a rest — a space to not have to worry, fuss, task, plan, fix, or calculate. It’s a mindful moment in a busy world in your busy day to just sit and remember you are a human who breathes. Come back to this meditation anytime you need a moment of mindfulness.

Mindful Mondays|Week 12: Lazy River

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Let’s set sail on a lazy river. If it’s comfortable and safe, today’s meditation is best while lying down. If you aren’t able, try to get in the most comfortable place where you won’t be distracted. Either way, try to shift into place so that you can find complete stillness but still stay alert.

Allow your body to weigh very heavy and close your eyes when you are ready. Feel the support below you and allow your muscles a moment to relax. Take four slow deep breaths as your body comes to rest upon the earth.

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The word “lazy” can be really triggering for over-achievers, over-doers, perfectionists, rushed people, heavy work-loaded folks, those suffering with hyperactivity, over-thinkers, and those who have a chaotic energy in their minds. These words also often describe developmental trauma survivors, those raised with abusive or oppressive parents, and those cultures of high-achieving family work values. Although every human’s brain has a hard time when first practicing focus and mindfulness; it can be extra challenging for trauma brains to allow us the space to just sit. This may seem lazy or selfish to take time just to be with your breath, watch yourself breathing, repeat a mantra, or any other mundane meditation practice.

I wonder if we can reframe our thinking about being “lazy”; what if we called this productive rest? What if this was a decompression time that actually allowed more space for purposeful focus on work and tasks later? What if this was a place where your brain got defragmented and re-organized? Tomorrow we are going to talk about the maze of the trauma recovery journey. Can this be a pause moment in that healing work? Can meditation be that minute of calm in the storm of life? Productive rest is good for your mind, body, and spirit.

Let’s try this together. Let’s just lay here. No breathwork today, no mantra. Nothing to do; even if you have a million things to do, none of them are to get done now. This is your lazy river. Mentally grab a supportive inflatable, and allow the warm waters with gentle current to just float you down its mazy path. It’s twisting and turning, but so slowly and calmly that you barely notice the shift. You can watch the clouds and drift along without a single care in the world — because right now none of them matter. Just be.

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If your mind instinctively went back to thoughts and worries, that’s okay. Just place yourself back on your float and set sail again down your lazy river. Watch the clouds, feel the sunshine, dip your toes, and drift.

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You’re doing so well that I wonder if there’s space for you to drift along for just one more minute? Would it be productively restful to stay on your raft and take a final peaceful moment on your river?

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Welcome back to the room and the space around you. Feel your body on the not-river ground. Wiggle your fingers and toes, and you can open your eyes when you are acclimated. What’s beautiful is this productive rest just gentled your mind, so it’s actually better equipped to handle the twisty turns of the day with more peace and clarity. Remember you can come to your lazy river whenever you need a safe space to just float and have some un-lazy rest.