Wellspring Wednesdays|Week 23: Wellspring

Author Note: If you prefer to listen or watch instead of or along with -
 Check out the YouTube video and/or the Podcast audio.

The reason I love the concept of the wellspring is because it means not just an abundant, continual supply, but also because it is the original, true source of that bounty. Isn’t that beautiful for trauma recovery? To know that all the work you are doing is coming from this original, authentic place inside you, to help you return to the authentic Self that trauma tried to destroy. To me, that’s majestic. Here inside of you lies this amazing wealth of resources.

You are born with this inherent deserving of love, care, attention, respect, and safety. From your inner wellspring, you created your identity by digging the hole and building the well. The trauma you suffered tried to damage or destroy this identity. (See the term for “victima” in the episode called Victimhood.) However, you have this life-giving abundance at its original source that has been with you since birth — the true and worthy Self that trauma tried to force you to surrender and lose by breaking or blocking the well that accesses the supply. And, yet, here you are. An overcomer. A marvelous feat of fate, and you are doing this arduous work.

Now is the time to fully realize and fully accept that you have all the healing inside of you, below the surface, in a beautiful, true, overflowing, natural river. Yes, you may need to unblock the dug hole, repair the old well, and even (for some of us) rebuild an entirely new one. The wellspring is in there, flowing away, deep below the surface. Your access point via the well has been altered, damaged, corrupted, dilapidated, or destroyed. But nothing, in my opinion, can poison the wellspring underneath because it is by definition a continual flow — ever replenishing itself by inherent goodness.

The work we do as trauma survivors is to first remember we have the wellspring, believe it’s there, and believe it’s your authenticity. We can learn to trust this wellspring as we dig down and create a connection from the earth to its wondrous flow. This looks like trusting yourself for your own healing and regaining connection to your body, mind, and spirit. Once you’ve dug down, you can tap into this unadulterated river of self-knowing, self-care, and self-love. From there, we can build a beautiful fountain or well, so that you can sustain the connection to the true source and have it more readily accessible anytime you need its abundance. That’s where creativity, play, and true joy can be ever present for you to use at your disposal. It’s when you start losing touch with your trauma identity and start returning, full circle, to your authentic self. Boundaries and healthy relationships will become a new normal. Trauma responses will start to be supplanted by new coping mechanisms. New habits of regular self-care can begin to flourish in your life.

And it all starts with finding and re-connecting to that authentic wellspring. It doesn’t matter where you are in this process. I am always here to support in whatever way I can. I’ll bring the shovel and some lemonade and help you dig the hole, or I’ll bring the supplies for the well building or help you map the blueprint. Whatever you need, feel free to reach out, ask any questions, give feedback, or schedule a free consult to see if coaching is a good next step for you. This is amazing and hard work, and I am definitely here for it.

Wellspring Wednesdays|Week 1: Acne of the Soul

*Author Note* If you prefer to listen or watch instead of or along with -
Check out the YouTube video and/or the Podcast audio.

Fitting with the New Year, I want to talk about something that I think is an overarching topic when it comes to trauma recovery.  As a trauma recovery coach, the first thing (after establishing trust and safety) that I need to let my clients know is that I believe in their ability to direct their healing.  It’s important for Survivors to be given full permission to decide what works for them and what doesn’t.  That’s why in trauma recovery coaching I never give a diagnosis or any prescription of care to my clients.  It’s an exploration to find a regimen that works for them – a toolbox of coping skills, healthy techniques when triggered, and finding ways that makes them feel alive in their true self. 

Skin is the largest organ of the human body.  With all its cell and pores, it is truly our window to the outside world.  Yet, no one’s skin is alike. Everyone has a different type of skin, various allergies, special sensitivities, types of birthmarks and sunspots, many kinds of skin tones, varieties of medical conditions, each with our own skin problems and challenges.  What one person may completely swear by as a necessary lotion, potion, or ointment could quite literally kill someone else.  One human with one type of skin may need a face wash for their acne that destroys the pores of another human.  Some people swear by popping their zits; others admonish the practice vehemently.  Some skin seems to never scar while still others seem to scar on a regular basis for minor things.  The skin’s stretch and sag is all built into our DNA when we are born.  People from all over the world are nearly guaranteed to never find someone with the same skin complaints and tips or tricks as themselves.  The beauty product makers and media would like to have us think that their latest product is perfect for every skin type and that every person across the board NEEDS their product.  However, we know that’s simply not true.  For those of us a little older in life, we remember the fussing we’ve done over the span of teenage years through adulthood to find just the right way, right product, right amount, right frequency of lotions and potions to either clear up or cover up our acne.  There of course are those annoying people that never had acne, but everyone has SOMETHING about their skin that bothers them.  I think a lot of us can agree that in different seasons our skin needs different care based on the dryness of the air and the harshness of the weather.  Some shades of skin need tons of SPF all year round, while others never touch the stuff.  People with freckles have their own set of regimens, and yet others have actual medical conditions that prove to have their own specific medical needs. 

How foolish then for any of us, not living in anyone else’s skin, to tell someone else how to best care for their largest organ – the piece of their body that is the most forward facing to the world.  In that same thread, imagine having never walked in someone’s shoes or experienced their traumas or problems or relationships.  There would be no way for anyone else to decide what that person needs.  I know some people, like myself, who LOVE yoga.  And yet I haven’t yet been able to convert everyone because some people I know have tried it and hated it! Can you imagine? (Sarcasm) Some trauma survivors do extremely well to learn breathwork to calm themselves when triggered, while for others deep breathing actually makes things worse for them.  Many survivors have been further traumatized by non-trauma-informed therapists, and yet others (myself included) are blessed with a consistent healthy relationship to regular therapy.  The modalities of therapy anyways are so far and wide and deep; they are expanding with every passing year.  How can we even say that we have the best thing when maybe our personally best thing hasn’t even made it to market yet to be added to our therapeutic menu?

A trauma survivor knows themselves the best – even if the trauma has temporarily (even long term) created a chasm between their trauma identity and their true identity.  My job is to help them find their way back to their body and their authentic self so that they can trust their intuition again.  Then together we can come up with tools and coping mechanisms and trigger techniques and all the lotions and potions they want to put in their box to carry on as a trauma survivor in the real world.  I’m passionate about this because I want people to know that NO MATTER WHAT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH that you are not broken.  Survivors don’t need MY fixing.  They just need inner healing back to themselves.  There are TONS of inner resources that they have had to use for surviving.  So if you’ve made it here to where you are reading or listening to this right now, you still have your inner wellspring f strength keeping you alive and trying to figure out how best to live in this world following the traumas you’ve been through.  I can help give you some ideas to try, recommendations of what has worked for me, and point you to some great places – but you, my friend, you know thyself.  Trust thyself.  I’d love to come along in the passenger seat and encourage you along your way to finding the perfect regimen for the acne of your soul – the right meds, the right therapeutic interventions, the right exercise and eating routine, the right relationships, and jobs, and all the lotions and potions for your soul to keep you as you walk diligently down your own recovery journey.