Full Circle Fridays|Week 24: eXposure Therapy

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Exposure Therapy is a type of behavioral therapy used to help people with fears and anxieties confront them in a safe setting through specific techniques aimed at reducing avoidance. The concept of exposure therapy started many decades ago and therefore has evolved a bit over time as we know more and more about human behavior and the brain. Those who suffer from phobias, fears, OCD, panic attacks, PTSD, general or social anxiety, and general distress may find help with someone trained in utilizing exposure therapy as an intervention.

The main ways exposure therapy is thought to be helpful is: habituation (repeating exposure to decrease fears over time), emotional processing (exploring why you have the phobia or anxiety surrounding the object or place or person and learning to shift your beliefs about it), self-efficacy (learning that you are capable of facing your own fears), and extinction (unlearning fearful or anxiety-inducing associations that have developed surrounding the phobia or anxiety by exposing your brain to it while in a safe environment).

The various techniques or strategies used are: in vivo exposure (facing the fear directly, head-on), virtual reality exposure (using VR to face a fear indirectly), interoceptive exposure (bringing on feared physical sensations to show your mind that they are harmless), and imaginal exposure (walking through a vivid visualization of the feared object, person, place, or activity).

The pacing of your exposure is specific to the condition and the client. To decide this, the therapist and client design a fear hierarchy listing out all fears and anxieties and grading them on a scale of severity. The pace may be: graded (beginning with the mildest to most difficult fears), flooding (starting with the most extreme fear or anxiety especially if it is hindering you from normal day to day life), and systematic desensitization (combining relaxation techniques such as breathing and meditation with the exposure to help your system stay more calm).

From what I’ve read, exposure therapy can be quite difficult and very uncomfortable. Clients of this type of modality should be aware that this takes time — first to build safety with the therapist and the environment and then to achieve the goals of the therapy. You must have a safe and highly supported space with your therapist so that this works the best. Your brain needs to feel secure and calm before and after it gets exposed to what it fears. This is part of the retraining process, to teach the nervous system that the feared object or situation is actually safe. You should also note that the activity or situation cannot be perfectly mocked in the therapist’s office, so the real-life fearful situation or association will feel and seem different. Repeated exposures clinically must build a solid foundation of safety for when you do encounter your fear in real life.

I have not personally used exposure therapy as it doesn’t fit my symptoms and conditions. Please consult with a trained professional.

As a personal aside (and I know I mention this a lot in episodes), I have to share something coming from my heart. I am speaking about this as a type of modality to bring awareness and education; however, I truly don’t know how I feel about this therapy. So I’m just adding in my two cents here because I know from IFS that fears and phobias and anxiety are just really strong Protectors. I have learned through IFS that our Protectors have good intention in the work that they do to keep us safe, and they should be respected and heard. Through working with Protectors and listening to what they are protecting you from, you can gain insight into actual deep healing of the wounds, traumas, exiles, and inner children that they are trying to keep us safe from. I am not a therapist, so please just take my words for what they are. I just felt led to add to this episode about this — that going into your inner realm and listening to what your fears have to say with an IFS-informed or IFS-trained coach or therapist may be a more long-term and true healing option. I don’t say this because I happen to be an IFS-informed coach. I say this because I have seen authentic healing and change from deep within myself via this modality and with my clients as they navigate what their Protectors roles are and why. Perhaps this is similar to the emotional processing technique of exposure therapy, so feel free to explore more on your own or with your support team.

In conclusion, please do the research for yourself before exploring any modality on this podcast, including IFS. If you have questions or would like to try some sessions of IFS, feel free to reach out. Also, if you’d like help finding an exposure modality qualified therapist, I would love to help you resource yourself. Robert Frost said, “The only way out is through.” I take that to mean walking through your inner being and healing the hurt — whether that means self-therapy, exposure therapy, inner child healing, or whatever you choose. Dan Millman said, “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” While exposure therapy may do that, so will Self-Leadership in the IFS model. I’ll leave you with that. Be well and keep on keeping on, Survivors. You are amazing.

Full Circle Fridays|Week 18: Repressed Memories

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Today’s topic comes with a disclaimer. I have no scientific degree, no clinical backing for this topic, and no business probably putting this out here. Yes, I know it’s discredited by some sciences, balked at in some of the legal community, and a highly controversial topic. So — why not, huh? Humor me?

As a trauma recovery coach, I would be remiss to not shine a light on something that is huge in the collective trauma survivor world. I’m going to say outright in case you want to skip this, this is an episode in favor of repressed memories, that I personally believe they exist, and I have personal experience with this. So there’s that. I’ll give you a second to find the ‘off’ button if you’d like.

If you are still with me, all I want to do is give a bit of info, define a few terms, and lay out some resources if you find this educational piece helpful. To be clear, from the literature, repressed memories seem to be present vastly in trauma brains and very uncommonly in non-trauma survivors. According to medical journals, repressed memories are the capstone of trauma response — top of the line of avoidance, dissociation, disconnection. In other words, if you have repressed memories — it’s for a paramount reason. There is a lot of respect to be given, in my opinion, to the brain for why it chooses to sort some things into the “repression” box.

A clinical psychologist in DC attempts to explain how your brain does this by saying that “it drops the memory into a ‘nonconscious’ zone — a realm you don’t think about.” I understand the controversary, truly. I get how it can make sense and also make no sense. I also know that the understanding the mind is still a work in progress. We barely know a fraction of what the brain is truly capable of. Is it really a long shot to believe the brain can hide something from its own self?

I mean, if you think about it, ultimately, your brain’s operating system is all about organizing clutter. Dreams are largely believed to be a key tool that your brain uses to sort out something it can’t understand, right? It’s basically a nighttime defragging to categorize your day’s activities. It’s as if repressed memories went into the trash bin icon on your desktop. “There; it’s gone.” And continue on operating on your brain goes. We know from computer though that we can easily access the trash bin. The laymen of the world could click “empty trash can”, and then honestly have no idea how to retrieve it from there. Some of us tech savvy folks would know that you can “system restore” and undo the delete. Beyond that if the system restore point was deleted too, then what? Well — a lot. Hackers, for one, seem to have no problem with data retrieval whether deleted 3 times or zipped in password protection or locked away in a cloud, right? The FBI has no issue bringing in its special operatives when they need to hunt something off a computer that’s been removed. Wait, even beyond the “system restore” trick? How? I have no idea. We know they can do this though, right? That’s the important part.

So why then is it such a stretch to think that your human brain, which has a lot of computer similarities, doesn’t have a trash bin/”empty trash bin” option on something horrible you went through on X date in time? And if so, then why then can’t we see that someone could use the system restore button to get it back, or beyond that more technical support therapy to unrepress what was once repressed? Yes, I know unrepress is not a word, but it should be, so I’m using it.

This idea of repressed memories — this is a beautiful representation of a protector (from IFS — check out the episode if you missed it). Perhaps one of the strongest protectors. In fact, can something even hurt you if you can’t remember it at all? This repressed protector part of us is doing a job to keep us safe — something we can be really grateful for. The retrieval of said memories also somehow seems to have its place in healing. I joked about unrepressing them, but it’s actually called recovery. Repressed memory recovery is a thing — not an exact science, but there are methods that are available for uncovering what the mind is covering from itself. IFS can work for some, along with EMDR, guided visualizations, revisiting locations/pictures/smells, trance writing, hypnotherapy, and psychedelics. These are just a few things — but actually everyday occurrences can bring repressed memories flooding back to the mind. Flashes of scenes from something someone said, random visions, coming to you in your dreams, scents that can bring you right back to your trauma, and more. Then there is the mystery of why does one trauma survivor have repression as a protective mechanism, and some remember every detail of the trauma they went through? That is a question we can’t even begin to answer yet.

That’s why I chose to write — as briefly and uneducated on the topic as I did — because repression is important to understand as a trauma survivor or someone who works with survivors. If you have a feeling that you have repressed memories, please find a therapist or coach to work with. If you have accidentally uncovered repressed memories, understand that you may be in the throws of re-traumatization and should seek support. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. If you have questions after listening to/reading this or want support with your repressed memories, feel free to reach out. As always, I’ll do my best to guide you to the best resources. I’m still learning about this as a topic, so maybe in the future I will revisit it in a more informed and personal way as I grow from my own mind’s repression. Stay tuned and take good care of yourself.