Full Circle Fridays|Week 18: Repressed Memories
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Today’s topic comes with a disclaimer. I have no scientific degree, no clinical backing for this topic, and no business probably putting this out here. Yes, I know it’s discredited by some sciences, balked at in some of the legal community, and a highly controversial topic. So — why not, huh? Humor me?
As a trauma recovery coach, I would be remiss to not shine a light on something that is huge in the collective trauma survivor world. I’m going to say outright in case you want to skip this, this is an episode in favor of repressed memories, that I personally believe they exist, and I have personal experience with this. So there’s that. I’ll give you a second to find the ‘off’ button if you’d like.
If you are still with me, all I want to do is give a bit of info, define a few terms, and lay out some resources if you find this educational piece helpful. To be clear, from the literature, repressed memories seem to be present vastly in trauma brains and very uncommonly in non-trauma survivors. According to medical journals, repressed memories are the capstone of trauma response — top of the line of avoidance, dissociation, disconnection. In other words, if you have repressed memories — it’s for a paramount reason. There is a lot of respect to be given, in my opinion, to the brain for why it chooses to sort some things into the “repression” box.
A clinical psychologist in DC attempts to explain how your brain does this by saying that “it drops the memory into a ‘nonconscious’ zone — a realm you don’t think about.” I understand the controversary, truly. I get how it can make sense and also make no sense. I also know that the understanding the mind is still a work in progress. We barely know a fraction of what the brain is truly capable of. Is it really a long shot to believe the brain can hide something from its own self?
I mean, if you think about it, ultimately, your brain’s operating system is all about organizing clutter. Dreams are largely believed to be a key tool that your brain uses to sort out something it can’t understand, right? It’s basically a nighttime defragging to categorize your day’s activities. It’s as if repressed memories went into the trash bin icon on your desktop. “There; it’s gone.” And continue on operating on your brain goes. We know from computer though that we can easily access the trash bin. The laymen of the world could click “empty trash can”, and then honestly have no idea how to retrieve it from there. Some of us tech savvy folks would know that you can “system restore” and undo the delete. Beyond that if the system restore point was deleted too, then what? Well — a lot. Hackers, for one, seem to have no problem with data retrieval whether deleted 3 times or zipped in password protection or locked away in a cloud, right? The FBI has no issue bringing in its special operatives when they need to hunt something off a computer that’s been removed. Wait, even beyond the “system restore” trick? How? I have no idea. We know they can do this though, right? That’s the important part.
So why then is it such a stretch to think that your human brain, which has a lot of computer similarities, doesn’t have a trash bin/”empty trash bin” option on something horrible you went through on X date in time? And if so, then why then can’t we see that someone could use the system restore button to get it back, or beyond that more technical support therapy to unrepress what was once repressed? Yes, I know unrepress is not a word, but it should be, so I’m using it.
This idea of repressed memories — this is a beautiful representation of a protector (from IFS — check out the episode if you missed it). Perhaps one of the strongest protectors. In fact, can something even hurt you if you can’t remember it at all? This repressed protector part of us is doing a job to keep us safe — something we can be really grateful for. The retrieval of said memories also somehow seems to have its place in healing. I joked about unrepressing them, but it’s actually called recovery. Repressed memory recovery is a thing — not an exact science, but there are methods that are available for uncovering what the mind is covering from itself. IFS can work for some, along with EMDR, guided visualizations, revisiting locations/pictures/smells, trance writing, hypnotherapy, and psychedelics. These are just a few things — but actually everyday occurrences can bring repressed memories flooding back to the mind. Flashes of scenes from something someone said, random visions, coming to you in your dreams, scents that can bring you right back to your trauma, and more. Then there is the mystery of why does one trauma survivor have repression as a protective mechanism, and some remember every detail of the trauma they went through? That is a question we can’t even begin to answer yet.
That’s why I chose to write — as briefly and uneducated on the topic as I did — because repression is important to understand as a trauma survivor or someone who works with survivors. If you have a feeling that you have repressed memories, please find a therapist or coach to work with. If you have accidentally uncovered repressed memories, understand that you may be in the throws of re-traumatization and should seek support. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. If you have questions after listening to/reading this or want support with your repressed memories, feel free to reach out. As always, I’ll do my best to guide you to the best resources. I’m still learning about this as a topic, so maybe in the future I will revisit it in a more informed and personal way as I grow from my own mind’s repression. Stay tuned and take good care of yourself.
