Mindful Mondays|Week 22: Validation

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Start today by finding a comfortable space somewhere familiar to you. Let any last movements needed in your legs or neck or shoulders to squirm out. Sit with a tall spine but without tension. Imagine a string from the top of your head to the sky above holding you up. Feel into the support of your seat to feel grounded and feel into the posture to find a sense of alertness yet ease. Look around your space for just a moment to get a snapshot of the objects and colors around you. Ground into your body and its connection to the world around you. When you are ready and feel secure, close your eyes to shut out all the outside stimuli.

***

Now that you’ve allowed yourself into this inner realm of yours, what do you find in here? Do thoughts start racing? Are you still seeing the silhouetted memories of your outside room? Do you find a sensation in your body? Take a minute to just explore before we find an anchor. Anything that comes up, just acknowledge it. It has a valid space here. Any emotion, any tingling, any fantasy, any administrative thoughts — they are all valid in your inner realm. Try not to reject them but validate them. “I see you.” “Ah, here you are in my inner space, coming to find me.” “Thank you for showing me that.” Give that a try for a moment.

***

Now that you’ve taken a moment to validate your inner realm and all its immediate needs and wants — let’s ask this wild canvas of thoughts and feelings to clear off for a few moments. You gave it time to be heard and validated. Now you’d like these things to validate your meditation moment with peace and stillness. Take three cleansing, deep belly breaths and come to a quietness in your spirit.

***

This time that you set aside to still yourself is valid. The need and want is valid. The quietness is valid. The desire for peace and expansion is valid. I hear you. I see you. This is the work. Find your breath exactly as it is. No need to try to change its pattern or rhythm. Just follow your breath and let your time be precious.

***

Come back now to your mind and thoughts and feelings and body. Thank them for validating your time spent with your focus off of them and on your own inner peace. Both things have validity. Both things are priceless. Before you go back to the whims of your brain, take another cleansing breath, and thank your mind for giving you space to be present. Anytime the demands of the outside world or your own inner self become too much — just pause and validate their concerns, and then ask for a little space to just be for a moment. The ebb and flow is a beautiful relationship between the Doing and the Being of life.

***

When you’re ready, you can open your eyes. Step peacefully back into your day. Feel validated for this time and come back whenever you would like. Be well, survivors.

Mindful Mondays|Week 20: Thinking

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The mind is a complex place. The brain is made up of billions of nerve cells. The brain loves to think and work on our behalf. Even when we think we have stopped “thoughts”, the brain never actually completely stops doing what it needs to do. Beyond thinking, the brain is responsible for memory, the five senses, emotions, and all the regulation of our entire body. If the computer system breaks down, everything falls apart. So we can honor our brain by allowing thought. Channeling ideas, using thinking when most needed, calming the reacting parts, and staying on top of looping thought patterns is where mindfulness is helpful. We will never actually stop thinking, so trying to do so will only bring frustration and more worry. Meditation is about not resisting the brain’s magical thinking powers. It’s about allowing whatever is there to be there, acknowledging it, and then redirecting. This process, over and over and over again, is a mindfulness practice. That’s where you’ve found yourself today. Let’s give this a try.

Find a comfortable, quiet, relaxed space where you won’t be distracted. Take a cleansing breath. Close your eyes when you are ready. You are now inside the blank space of your mind where anything can happen.

You may notice sensations in your body, the urge to get up and jiggle around, feeling too hot or too cold, hunger, thirst, rapid fire thoughts, worries, a sense of panic, boredom, arousal, decompression from the day, coordination of your schedule, the long to-do list, fears, old grief from losing a loved one, or anything else the mind can think of to distract you. First thing to do here is to be okay with any and all of those things I just listed. Recognize this is the brain’s job. We are not going to try to stop the brain’s activity. We aren’t going to try to take away its magical powers.

Ground down into the seat below you and start to find a place in your body where you most feel your ever-constant breath. The cool air in the nostrils, the upper lip as warm exhales pass by, your chest or belly rising, or your rib cage expanding. We’ll call that the breath anchor. Stay with this focus point for as long as you can. When you get lost in a feeling, emotion, sensation, worry, thought, story, fantasy, or anything that’s outside of the focus on the breath, just recognize it. You can even tell yourself “There went my brain, working hard again.” Then gently, without judgment, just come back to the breath.

***

Did you get swept away downstream with the ever-so-long list of things you ‘should’ be doing? Did your body convince you to start scratching an itch? Are you planning your future child’s wedding again? All that is fine. Just come back. “That’s just my brain doing a good job,” you can say. Focus back on the breath and just stay with it as long as you can.

***

Where is your mind right now? Were you able to stay anchored a little longer this time? Did your brain come back in to do more of its good work? Great! Thank it, and then patiently return its focus on your breath and just breathe.

***

Each time you find yourself floating away like a feather, that’s the practice we call mindfulness. Congratulate yourself for noticing you got lost in thought, and then come on back. That’s how we strengthen the brain’s mindfulness capacity, over and over again. Let’s keep going for just another moment.

***

You did a great job today. Your brain went on thinking, as it does, and you kept on bringing it back, like a great guru of mindfulness. Be proud of the work you put in and continue bringing yourself back to the present moment throughout the day whenever you notice that your brain has taken over again. Nothing here to be upset about; the brain just loves to think. Allow it; acknowledge it. Be mindful of it as you move kindly back into your day. That’s the practice, and you did amazing work. Until next time, be well, survivors.

Mindful Mondays|Week 16: Pause

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Let it be said first that however you are showing up today is perfectly wonderful. Your true self, whether it’s messy, tired, energetic, calm, or rushed, is welcome here today. Find a space somewhere comfortable where you won’t be distracted. You can sit, stand, or lay down — based on your body’s needs today. If you are more energetic, perhaps standing is a good form for meditation today. If you are very calm and feel it best to root down into your favorite chair, that’s wonderful too. Choose a place that makes you feel at ease but alert. Let these next few moments serve as a pause. A pause on all the things you must do. A pause on that nagging sense of perfectionism. A pause on the passions of your heart. Let this be a pause on all that ails you and delights you. Find some neutrality with the world for a couple minutes if you are able.

Close your eyes when you are ready and breath in the atmosphere around you. Allow sounds to fade in the background. Give permission for the ground below you to metaphorically liquify. The aim here is to detach the senses and feel internally into your body. Take three long, slow breaths and root down into your inner being.

***

Now with the attention draw inward toward your spirit, stay focused on something natural in your body. Pick something you can sense but not quantify. Your breath is a good anchor, and so can be your heartbeat, blood flowing through your veins, tummy rumbles, or tingling nerves. Once you’ve chosen, just stay with that focus for a few minutes to pause yourself in this space — right here, right now.

***

Congratulations yourself on taking this time to pause by going inward. Reconnect your body and mind back to the outside senses and readjust to the space you are in. Feel your body touching the support surface. Allow your eyes to flutter open and absorb light. Smell the air deeply. Now you are welcome to move peacefully back into the rest of your day.

Mindful Mondays|Week 13: Mindful Moment

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Today is more of a classic meditation, so let’s settle into a seated position. A posture of restfulness but alertness. Before you close your eyes, take a moment to ground yourself in the room or space you are in. Gently gaze at the objects in front of you … to your left … to the right … and above you. Try to notice the dimensional space surrounding you and feel a sense of security in this area that you chose to meditate in today. Now let’s close the eyes and take a few centering breaths to settle into this moment.

***

Right now, right here, in this mindful moment, there is nothing to do, nowhere to go. No productivity or creativity is needed, neither any special talents, or anything that needs thinking through. No worry is helpful here. All this is is a few minutes of following your breath, observing yourself breathe, staying in the moment trying to notice when thought sweeps you away, and then coming back to the breath once you realize. There is no judgment here. Your mind is thinking because that’s what the mind does. It’s doing what it knows how. What you are doing here for a few minutes is asking your brain to focus on one sole thing: the breath. This can be a hard task. The practice is in the noticing your mind when it drifts away into thought and then bringing it gently back. That’s what meditation is. Meditation does not mean you can stay with the breath the longest; it means you can catch the wandering and bring it back — over and over and over.

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Where is your mind now? Have you lost track of your breath? Just realize it. Note “thinking” to yourself and just come back to focusing only on your breath.

***

We aren’t trying to change the breath or manipulate it in any way. We are just sitting in our seat of observance, watching ourselves breathe. Following the breath like a game of “follow the leader” — watching each inhale, the pause, and each exhale. Notice the length of the breath. Feel the soft moment of pause between breaths. Just create a moment of peace focusing on this breath and this breath and this one.

***

If you’ve slid into thinking, that’s okay. Note to yourself “thinking” and gently recalibrate your mind back to the focal point of the breath.

***

Today was a training practice — a more standard version of mindfulness. Allowing your brain to get lost in thought, noticing it, and bringing it back again and again — that is meditation. Mindfulness doesn’t have to be fancy or difficult. It’s just a few minutes of space to allow your mind a rest — a space to not have to worry, fuss, task, plan, fix, or calculate. It’s a mindful moment in a busy world in your busy day to just sit and remember you are a human who breathes. Come back to this meditation anytime you need a moment of mindfulness.

Mindful Mondays|Week 5: Everything & Nothing

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Let’s begin by settling into your space.  Let’s ground together.  Take one slow, deep, grounding breath.  Before you close your eyes, scan the room in some detail.  Count a few things, find something new you haven’t seen before, or set your gaze on something that you really love.

…

If your comfortable to do so, close your eyes.  See how the room looks on the other side of your eyelids.  Can you remember most of the things you scanned?  What was that one detail you noticed?  Do you remember the feeling you had as you gazed on that one object?

…

Now let’s come to our faithful breath.  The breath that keeps on going, whether we are aware or not.  The breath that moves at the right pace for sitting to watch tv to climbing stairs to mowing the lawn.  The breath that always regulates itself just as we need it.  Just watch it in your mind.  Follow it like a puppy follows its human around.  With no desire to change it or force it, just to be with it because you want to be.

…

If you wandered off like a stray puppy, come back to the breath and just enjoy following it with every inhale and exhale.  Use all your effort to stay with each breath, yet don’t do anything special at all.

…

If your mind has slid off the path again, that’s okay.  With all your strength, pull it right back on the breath.  However, the more relaxed you approach your wandering, the easier to slide back into the lap of the breath.

…

Meditation, if you think about it really, it is everything.  It creates an awareness that, when practiced enough, can follow you through your whole day, bringing you back to the moment, back to reality.  Mindfulness is the almighty buzzword that is helping millions of people be conscious of their energy, emotions, mindset, lifestyle choices, words, and actions every day.  And … it’s nothing.  It’s just sitting here.  Effortlessly watching something that we do every moment of everyday.  We are choosing to sit here to observe ourselves doing the most obvious, unchallenging thing we do in a day – just breathing.  You aren’t focusing on the breath right this second, and yet there it still is just keepin’ on keepin’ on.  You don’t have to do anything to your breath; it’s a reflexive thing.  All the while, whenever you want, it’s this anchor that you can sit and watch.  You can even force your breath, hold it, change its pace.  But you don’t have to, and it will be just fine without your interference.  Without judgment, you can easily slide your mind back into the focusing practice, and then without demand, you will inevitably loss track of it again and again.

Mindfulness is training brains all of the globe to be aware of themselves and their surroundings – to be fully present.   What you are doing right now is a huge key to allowing you to be fully present in your day-to-day life. It’s reteaching your mind to be connected to your body to be connected to your spirit.  It’s helping you find purpose and accept your emotions.  It’s regulating your life.  Yet, it’s not really anything.  It’s just sitting, observing ourselves.  Sometimes we make really big deals out of things.  I know I do.  Meditation is a big deal that isn’t a big deal.  The effortlessness to return to your breath over and over is work, without working anything.  It’s being mindful of mindless breathing. 

Keep watching your breath.  Just try to focus on the next 3 breaths, from the inhale to the end of the exhale. 

…

Isn’t that amazing?!  You were watching yourself as a human being minus the human doing.  Taking away the doing and just being for just a few moments.  That’s incredible!  Sit here as long as you like after this meditation is over and just keep being.  Meditation is the most important thing you’ll do today, and yet it isn’t anything at all. 

When you are ready, open your eyes.  When you are really ready, feel free to get up, and carry that state of Being into your day as you are Doing all the other important things.  Congratulate yourself on doing the thing that is nothing and everything.  

Mindful Mondays|Week 3: Calm, Cool, Collected

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Today’s meditation can be used as a regular practice or as an emergency timeout to calm during or after a trigger. 

I encourage to sit very comfortably – maybe in your favorite recliner or a sofa.  It’s even appropriate to lay on your back or the fetal position if you are using this in a stressful situation.  Invite your body to stay alert, but to relax down into whatever ground is supporting your weight.  Visualization is helpful in this practice today, so if you can sort through visions in your mind, I welcome you to close your eyes.  If you are activated and need help staying grounded, I welcome you to softly fix your gaze on something nearby you in the room that makes you feel at ease.  This could be a pretty wall color, a picture of someone you love, your pet laying beside you, or your reflection if a mirror is visible to you.  Let’s immediately ask our breath to aid us for the next few minutes by taking three deep breaths in a row.  You want to drink in from your nose as much air fills your belly, ribs, and lungs.  Hold it at the top for just a brief moment before letting it cascade slowly and controlled out from your mouth.  This may look like a count of 3 to inhale and 6 to exhale, with a brief pause in between. 

For those more experienced in breathwork, this could be a deep 6 count inhale, holding for 3-4 counts, followed by a slow 12-15 count decompression exhale. 

Whatever works for you – take three cleansing breaths when you’re ready.

…

Now let’s all return to our natural breath and take a moment to focus on our heartbeat.  Can you hear it?  Can you feel it?  Is it beating fast and hard because you are still activated?  Is it finding a calm rhythm from the deep breathing?  If you need, pause this, and redo three more deep cleansing breaths. 

Focus on your belly and ribs expanding.  Focus on your chest rising.  Notice your heart settling into your chest, relaxing the way you settled down into your seat, sofa, bed, or the ground.  Eventually, you want your heart to calm to the point where you don’t actively feel it without touching your chest.  Keep listening.

…

Now that you’ve self-soothed with some breaths, focus away from your heartbeat and breathing to allow your eyes to see the object you are gazing at or conjure a picture in your mind if your eyes are closed.  Whatever picture makes you feel calm.  A pretty color, a scene of nature, a pet.  Spend a moment focusing on this mind picture or whatever you are gazing at.  Notice it’s textures, patterns, colors, maybe a scent or a feeling that comes alongside the visual experience.

…

Calm, cool, collected is always available to you.  You can calm yourself by grounding into the room that’s present around you or an object you create in your mind.  You can cool a hot temper or an activated nervous system with deep breaths and elongated exhales.  You can collect yourself by taking this time out to ask your thoughts to pause while you focused on deep breathing and then a focal gaze.  You are safe in your hunkered down relaxed pose. 

You can begin to relax your gaze off your focus point and come back fully into the room.  You can open your eyes if you feel ready. 

You have calmed your own racing heart, cooled your stormy insides, and collected your thought pattern.  Congratulate yourself for taking this time out, especially if you used this in a triggering situation. 

Release your attention back to the current space and allow yourself to slowly get up before acclimating back into whatever is next for your day. 

Mindful Mondays|Week 2: Balance

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Let’s take a moment to settle in.  Today I want to lean into the word Balance. 

Take a seat on the floor, cushion, or chair.  Elongate the spine as if a string was tugging at the top of your head.  Take an extra moment today to shift your weight in your seat so that an even distribution is on each side.  Feel into the balance between your right and left side of your body.  As you relax down into your breath, let’s see if we can bring some extra balance to our breath today.  Just notice for a minute if you exhale is longer, shorter, or even with your inhale … And now for five breaths, let’s balance those with a count of four to inhale and four to exhale so they are even…

In, 2, 3, 4.  Out, 2, 3, 4.   Draw In, 2, 3, 4.  Breathe Out, 2, 3, 4.   Inhale, 2, 3, 4.  Exhale, 2, 3, 4.   Inhala, 2, 3, 4.  Exhala, 2, 3, 4.   One late time: In, 2, 3, 4.  Out, 2, 3, 4.    Now let’s return to normal breathing, not forcing or counting, just observing your breath. 

….

This week, see if it’s possible to create a balance within.  Do you always work very hard until you crash in bed at night?  Maybe you can find some room to pause and rest for a while in the middle of a busy day.  Do you find you spend most of your time alone with your own thoughts or watching tv?  Maybe bringing in a small get together with friends this week will create some relationship balance.  Do you tend to get very stressed in traffic on the way to work most mornings?  You can make a reminder in your car to find a moment of zen with some 4-count balanced breaths as you wait out the rush hour. 

How is your breathing right now?  Notice you have been listening to my voice and not concentrating as deeply on your breath.  Let’s shift from listening to observing the breath right at the opening of the nostrils.  Feel the cool air coming in and the warmer air sighing out.  Watch and see if the balance of your breath is still even or has it shifted?  Take a few minutes to examine the breathing pattern without placing any expectations on your rhythm.

….

Coming back to the room now – take one last deep inhale and then completely exhale all the air out slowly. 

Soak in this time and celebrate yourself for taking this space to sit and just be today.  This is one step in creating more balance in our busy lives of doing, going, doing, going.  You’ve spent few moments of just staying and being.  Congratulate yourself for making time.  When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes, and enjoy the rest of your day.

Mindful Mondays| Week 1: And

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Welcome, my name is Sara from Full Circle Wellspring. And today is your Mindful Monday. Let’s get started. Today I want to talk about the word: And. A small little three letter word. 

So get comfortable. You can lay down or sit in a cross-legged position on the floor or in a chair. Somewhere you can be comfortable for just a few short minutes. To still your mind, take a few deep breaths to help you arrive here right now. 

….

Let’s return our breathing to natural rhythm. 

Let’s focus on this New Year together. What a great time and place; an opportunity we have for a fresh start. This year I’d like to challenge you consider the word “and”. 

Right now you’re sitting here focusing on your breath or a bodily sensation — feeling the warmth of your hands or feeling your belly rise and fall with the breath. While you are breathing, your body is also breathing you. Breathing is an action of Being AND Doing. Same thing with our thoughts. We can be watching our thoughts, creating our thoughts, AND our thoughts are always happening. 

In our trauma recovery journey together, we are whole. We are a complete person worthy of love and worthy of respect, AND we can also love ourselves enough on want to continue on improving our mind, body, spirit. On improving in our trauma recovery path. We can be happy right where we are, AND we can be looking forward to even more improvement. You can be feeling very healthy and happy in a career AND also challenge yourself. You could be feeling really happy at this moment AND also grieving the year that passed. Maybe a lot of things happened that you haven’t quite processed yet. AND all that is okay. 

Let’s continue to feel our breath a few more minutes. Don’t force the breath. Just watch it. Observe it while it does its thing. Let’s pay attention to where we feel the breath the strongest— maybe the nostrils, right above the upper lip, or maybe you want to focus on your seat in the chair or on the floor. Let’s just take a few minutes and remember the duality that we have in this life. We can breathe, AND we can also be breathed. Let yourself be breathed right now. 

…. 

This year maybe we challenge ourselves especially in the complexity of our trauma recovery journey to remind ourselves that things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. You can do hard things, and you can also give yourself space to rest and recover. You can feel multiple emotions at one time, and that’s okay. Try this week to see how it feels to eliminate one of those other three letter words “but” with the word “and”. See if that doesn’t change some of the perspective in your heart. I know for me personally when I catch myself saying “but”, and I can change it to an “and” that I’m reminded of the flexibility that life has offered me by giving me multiple options and opportunities. I’m not limited, and I’m not a victim. And we can do hard things. We can do challenging things. We can grow, and we can also take time to rest and reflect. We can find that balance. It’s not an easy journey. Trauma recovery never is, and I’ll never promise you that — AND you can find support and encouragement here through it. 

This has been your Mindful Monday. I am your certified trauma recovery coach, Sara, for Full Circle Wellspring, and I look forward to our next time together. 

When you are ready, re-acclimate your body to the room and open your eyes slowly and enjoy the rest of your day.