Mindful Mondays|Week 26: Zen

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What better way to end Season One of all these Monday meditations than with Zen — which is a Japanese translation of the Sanskrit word meaning “meditation”. For us, we also recognize this word to mean peaceful, calm, enlightened, relaxed. The original word also has to do with simplicity, not worrying, awareness. So let’s play with those concepts today and find a moment of Zen.

Today if you are able, find a comfortable place to lie down, with feet either propped up or the knees bent slightly to keep any tension off the lower back. Whether sitting or standing or lying, put one hand on your chest cavity above your diaphragm and place the other right on or below your diaphragm in the stomach region. Take a nice cleansing inhale and let it out slowly on the exhale. Close your eyes when you’re ready.

For a few minutes of Zen, just lie here. Let your body get heavy and sink into the earth below you. Let your mind quiet itself. And notice your breath, which is always easier to focus on with your hands holding the movements of the body. Stay present in the moment without falling asleep. See if you can straddle the line between staying aware that you are lying here in this moment with the other side of consciousness where total relaxation can occur. Stay with both those realities, and just breathe. Just be Zen.

***

If you’ve got lost in thought and lost your sense of Zen, just come on back. Welcome your mind to anchor down into the breath, feel the sensations below your hands as your inhales and exhales flow, and keep your relaxation at peak calmness without losing your present awareness to your body.

***

That, my friends, is our Zen practice for today. Simple, peaceful, and unhurried. Just being, no doing. Alert but calm. That’s the practice. You nailed it. And if you want more, stay right here after my voice fades, and keep on in the Zen for as long as you want. You earned this; you deserve this. See you next season for more mindful moments together. Be well, Survivors.

Mindful Mondays|Week 21: Uncover

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When you slow down and take time to be in your own space, inside your own mind and body, in a relaxed environment — you tend to discover some things your brain is trying to work out or complete or solve. This often can happen when we lay down at night. When the body stops and the space gets dark and quiet, your brain can finally have your full attention and start its laundry list of things it’s wanting you to work out from the day, about your coworkers or spouse, the schedule, planning for the future, and worrying about the past. This ends up being an unhealthy time for your mind to start chattering because sleep is of utmost importance. Many survivors struggle with sleep disruptions and insomnia because the brain is using the space to work through everything it has ever been through, and it takes so long to calm its overactive nervous system.

If this is you, you probably find the same thing happens when you hit the meditation pillow where, for some, taming the monkey mind seems unreasonably difficult. That’s very normal, actually. If being here every day for ten minutes is the one time of day you are able to sacrifice and carve out as alone, quiet, relaxed, dark, peaceful space, then your experiences with monkey mind are extra common.

So — today is an unconventional practice just for you. I want to honor you for taking the time to be here, and I want you to try to be mindful inside of your non-stop brain. We aren’t going to focus on the breath or body or an anchor. Now is the time to let your mind run freely. What this mindfulness practice today is to watch it happen. Give your brain an open field for full frolicking mode — just try to not let your mind get completely lost in thought. Try to watch your thoughts, from a non-judgmental seat like a tourist would watch monkeys swinging from tree to tree in the jungle. Try to notice your body sensations while thinking. Be extra aware of emotions that arise while the thoughts jump around you. Follow the thoughts to see how far into oblivion they can go, and then chuckle to yourself as you notice the absurdity of the movie playing out in your head. Maybe there is a serious issue that comes to your mind, and you can just follow the journey the brain goes on trying to make sense of it. Maybe a difficult emotion is going to arise; just watch the story is that is causing it. Wriggle along with the storyline to see if your brain can work itself out. If you lose contact with the space, sensations, or your point of view, notice that and come back to focusing on the thoughts drifting through. Let’s allow this time to be the creative playground for your mind to get lost in wonder today.

Close your eyes and see what you uncover in your mind for a few minutes.

***

Welcome back. Open your eyes and wiggle your fingers and toes. Reground into the room you are in. 

When your brain had your full attention, what did it uncover? Is there some vision or goal you need to go write down like a dream journal? Is there a pressing matter you need to add to your to-do that you had been forgetting? Did you uncover a new perspective to a trauma trigger that you had earlier this week? Did you solve an argument you and your partner had?

Whatever you uncovered is precious. Treat it like a newly discovered gem. Your brain created an idea, calculated stuff, organized an issue, or talked you onto or off of a ledge — now you know what it wanted to tell you while you were busy all day long. Yet you allowed the thinking to uncover itself in a process of mindfulness — you stayed present to your body and emotions and the world around you without getting too swept away.

If you found this very helpful, maybe you could find a space to add in a 5–10-minute monkey mind session throughout the day. Meditation is to help improve mental focus and to stay present in the moment. Today we wanted to see what it would look like without a settled focus, just for fun. If your mind was going crazy with delight for you allowing it to flutter around its playground, perhaps a few minutes of that right before you begin a meditation practice would help settle the monkeys so you can work on staying present in the moment or focused on an anchor.

This is a new tool for you to play with as you become more aware of what your mind, body, and spirit all want to uncover for you. This was great and important work. Be well, survivors.

Mindful Mondays|Week 18: Retreat

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Can your mind become a retreat? Can your own body be your safe haven? Let’s give that a try today. Go ahead and find your most perfect spot, in a position you like and can maintain and not fall asleep. Give yourself a little cuddle; remind yourself you are safe and well. Look around at your surroundings and see if you can imagine this being the most amazing retreat location your mind can conjure. What if all the piles of laundry were sandcastles? What if the broken end table had your favorite hot drink sitting upon it? What if the bland whitish walls were scenes of epic mountains sprawled out in front of you? What if this room was your very own private escape, and your body was there for all the sensations? If you can think it, you can create it. Soak it in; drink it down. Let out a sigh and close your eyes when you are ready.

***

Settle into your perfect retreat and feel grounded in your own skin. Can you allow your thoughts to tuck away next to you like in a cove off your lounge chair? Is it okay to just be with yourself right now? Can you allow your mind to pick a point of focus and just stay with it?

***

If your thoughts left their cove and have invaded your mind again, that’s okay. Remind your brain this is your safe haven for a few minutes and that all thoughts are welcome back shortly. Then just simply return to your focal point.

***

If you need extra help concentrating, try finding your breath and staying with it more closely by counting your inhales and exhales. Inhale, pause, exhale, one. Inhale, pause, exhale, two. Inhale, pause, exhale, three. Keep going until your concentration has gone deep enough to forget about your worries for a few more moments.

***

Welcome back to your reality and your body and your piles of laundry and missed phone calls. Congratulate yourself on coming here to your retreat today, even just for a few minutes of a safe, quiet place. Allow this space that you created to go with you wherever you take off to today; come back anytime your mind needs a bit of a retreat.

Mindful Mondays|Week 16: Pause

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Let it be said first that however you are showing up today is perfectly wonderful. Your true self, whether it’s messy, tired, energetic, calm, or rushed, is welcome here today. Find a space somewhere comfortable where you won’t be distracted. You can sit, stand, or lay down — based on your body’s needs today. If you are more energetic, perhaps standing is a good form for meditation today. If you are very calm and feel it best to root down into your favorite chair, that’s wonderful too. Choose a place that makes you feel at ease but alert. Let these next few moments serve as a pause. A pause on all the things you must do. A pause on that nagging sense of perfectionism. A pause on the passions of your heart. Let this be a pause on all that ails you and delights you. Find some neutrality with the world for a couple minutes if you are able.

Close your eyes when you are ready and breath in the atmosphere around you. Allow sounds to fade in the background. Give permission for the ground below you to metaphorically liquify. The aim here is to detach the senses and feel internally into your body. Take three long, slow breaths and root down into your inner being.

***

Now with the attention draw inward toward your spirit, stay focused on something natural in your body. Pick something you can sense but not quantify. Your breath is a good anchor, and so can be your heartbeat, blood flowing through your veins, tummy rumbles, or tingling nerves. Once you’ve chosen, just stay with that focus for a few minutes to pause yourself in this space — right here, right now.

***

Congratulations yourself on taking this time to pause by going inward. Reconnect your body and mind back to the outside senses and readjust to the space you are in. Feel your body touching the support surface. Allow your eyes to flutter open and absorb light. Smell the air deeply. Now you are welcome to move peacefully back into the rest of your day.

Mindful Mondays|Week 14: Nature

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Today we are going to work on a visualization technique. I’ve chosen the background track to my vocals to mimic nature sounds, but if you are able to get outside and perhaps sit by a brook, the shore of the ocean, or on a log in the forest — this would be ideal. Today we are going to use the healing power of nature to calm our spirit and reconnect to the world around us.

Find a comfortable spot, whether in nature or in your usual meditation space. Settle down and feel the ground supporting you like a foundation. Give yourself a moment to acclimate into the setting. Look around for something beautiful, familiar, or appealing.

***

If you are out in nature, keep your eyes open so you can use the place you found as a visual anchor for today’s meditation. Find a solace in this natural setting that you’ve found and visually explore without moving around. If you are inside, close your eyes and take a minute to conjure up a beautiful scene of nature that you’ve been to, a place you want to visit, or use creativity to imagine one you’ve never even seen before.

***

Your mind is playing with all the textures and colors of the nature scene that you are in or visualizing. Pay close attention to those colors, the shapes, and the textures. Notice as much detail about the objects around you as you can.

***

Now let’s shift the focus to listening to the sounds around you or that you hear playing on this meditation guide. Listen to each intonation of my voice, the animal or insect sounds, the water flowing, or the silence that may be surrounding you in your special space.

***

Now let’s breathe in the smells of this real or imaginary world you’re sitting in. The pine, the salt water, the fresh mud, the cool air. Take some slow, long, deep breaths — not to focus on the breathing but to breathe in the smells that come into your nostrils as you inhale.

***

Finally, hone in on the feeling that this place gives you. Maybe you feel your worries melting away, a sense of adventure calling you, or the ease of life as the air, creatures, or water pass by. Really ground into your heart space and find several moments of pleasure here in this safe environment. Notice that you are a vital part of this earth, that the dirt around you is life-giving, and that every living thing you can see if here because of the elements.

***

Nature is a place that holds a lot of balance. It does this not by being perfectly harmonious by happenchance. It is aligned with itself despite the ebb and flow of weather conditions, climates changing, seasons shifting, the life cycle of birth and death all around, threats of predators, sometimes sparse and sometimes plentiful food availability, factors of human interruption, and many other challenges it faces. Nature isn’t just naturally balanced; it becomes balanced even in the rocking of the world and finds the stillness inside of the storm. What doesn’t kill it makes it stronger. Its viability comes from its vulnerability. It stays flexible, moving with the wind, shifting with the seasons, becoming wild or calm based on the days weather. It needs both sunshine and rain to be nourished. It doesn’t fret when a harsh winter comes; it just wriggles back into its winter form and waits. It celebrates the warm months with flowers, freshness, popping colors, and melodies of birdsongs. Nature knows not the future, but panics about it none. It is willing to adapt to conditions, to wait out the sometimes cruelty of the Mother, and to bud when it is safe to do so. It accepts its surroundings and makes peace with the living things around it. We can take these lessons and store them in our hearts. We learn harmony, glory, and vivacity from nature. Let’s take a moment to thank this living space or imagined creation in our mind. Be truly grateful for its wisdom and its ability to connect us with our inner being by disconnecting us from the crazy world we live in. We can utilize nature whenever we need space to just watch the reality of harmony and admire its imperfect perfections.

Come to a close now by giving this gratitude back to nature, reconnecting to your own body, and coming back to the space around you. Take a deep breath, and move lovingly back into your day.

Mindful Mondays|Week 13: Mindful Moment

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Today is more of a classic meditation, so let’s settle into a seated position. A posture of restfulness but alertness. Before you close your eyes, take a moment to ground yourself in the room or space you are in. Gently gaze at the objects in front of you … to your left … to the right … and above you. Try to notice the dimensional space surrounding you and feel a sense of security in this area that you chose to meditate in today. Now let’s close the eyes and take a few centering breaths to settle into this moment.

***

Right now, right here, in this mindful moment, there is nothing to do, nowhere to go. No productivity or creativity is needed, neither any special talents, or anything that needs thinking through. No worry is helpful here. All this is is a few minutes of following your breath, observing yourself breathe, staying in the moment trying to notice when thought sweeps you away, and then coming back to the breath once you realize. There is no judgment here. Your mind is thinking because that’s what the mind does. It’s doing what it knows how. What you are doing here for a few minutes is asking your brain to focus on one sole thing: the breath. This can be a hard task. The practice is in the noticing your mind when it drifts away into thought and then bringing it gently back. That’s what meditation is. Meditation does not mean you can stay with the breath the longest; it means you can catch the wandering and bring it back — over and over and over.

***

Where is your mind now? Have you lost track of your breath? Just realize it. Note “thinking” to yourself and just come back to focusing only on your breath.

***

We aren’t trying to change the breath or manipulate it in any way. We are just sitting in our seat of observance, watching ourselves breathe. Following the breath like a game of “follow the leader” — watching each inhale, the pause, and each exhale. Notice the length of the breath. Feel the soft moment of pause between breaths. Just create a moment of peace focusing on this breath and this breath and this one.

***

If you’ve slid into thinking, that’s okay. Note to yourself “thinking” and gently recalibrate your mind back to the focal point of the breath.

***

Today was a training practice — a more standard version of mindfulness. Allowing your brain to get lost in thought, noticing it, and bringing it back again and again — that is meditation. Mindfulness doesn’t have to be fancy or difficult. It’s just a few minutes of space to allow your mind a rest — a space to not have to worry, fuss, task, plan, fix, or calculate. It’s a mindful moment in a busy world in your busy day to just sit and remember you are a human who breathes. Come back to this meditation anytime you need a moment of mindfulness.

Mindful Mondays|Week 11: Kindness, Find Us

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If you have been practicing mindfulness for a while, you are familiar with loving-kindness meditations. If you struggle with those, you aren’t alone. And, also, don’t worry, because today we aren’t going to do one of those. I’m not going to ask you to be kind or say kind things to anyone or yourself. Let’s get started.

Take a really comfortable seat, maybe even lying down today. Pick a spot that, if you can, is in a different location from where you usually meditate. Try to change the vibe a little bit.

Keep your eyes open for this part. Let’s start by taking three deep breaths with some head/neck rolls. It will look like this — start with your chin to your chest. Take one inhale and exhale to open the spine. On your next inhale, roll your head slowly to the right, all the way back so you are looking at the ceiling or sky, and follow through all the way back down to the chin to position. As you exhale, roll completely the opposite way, ending with your chin back down toward chest. Let’s try three complete inhale and exhale rolls in this way.

***

Now let’s settle into the ground and close your eyes if that feels safe. Place a hand over your chest, around the area of your sternum. Place your palm down so that you can feel your heartbeat. Let’s take a minute to focus on just that heartbeat inside our chest. Feel its rhythm; get familiar with its pulse; trust its steadiness.

***

Today, I want you to imagine that ever-steady heartbeat as your personal kindness. I believe each of us has a part inside that is called our Self-Kindness part. No matter how distracted we are, it’s still in there, buried in your chest, pumping along. Maybe moments you are not active with self-care, it gets a bit sluggish. When you are exercising your Kindness part, it is pumping strong and loudly. When you sit quietly, you can feel it, and even better you can feel it with your hand as a tool. Sometimes it takes a bit of silence, yet still sometimes it will palpitate when it needs attention. I think it’s really important to recognize you have a Self-Kindness part. Instead of a typical loving-kindness mantra, let’s change the prayer today to: Kindness, find us. We can speak to this Kindness part and ask it to join us in this meditation. We want the self-kindness, but there’s no rush or push to force it. Sometimes you do need to fake it til you make it, but today I’d like us to try the gentle back door. Let’s tell our Kindness part that we know it’s there. We see it; we want and need it. Ware open to it visiting us and gracing us with its presence. Give is a try with me:

Kindness, find us.

Kindness, find us.

Kindness, find us.

Kindness, we know you live inside us and are ever-available to us. Teach us to call on you more, especially in our times of self-criticism. Remind us with small palpitations, minor nudgings, that you are ever-ready to greet us and ground us in love and self-compassion.

Kindness, find us.

Kindness, find us.

Kindness, find us.

Let’s come back to the space around us, sounds, and our body. Take a moment to be thankful for your Self-Kindness part. With one last deep breath, you can open your eyes. Let Kindness find you throughout your day. Until next time, be well.

Mindful Mondays|Week 9: Inquisitiveness

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Let’s get ready to have a few minutes of mindfulness together. Sit comfortably with a tall spine but a relaxed posture. Place your hands gently on your lap or knees so that you can feel your hands resting comfortably. For this practice, before anything else, let your mind know that we are going to get curious about it today; we are going to do some self-inquiry. Sometimes the mind needs a little heads up about what the game plan is. For trauma survivors, structure and preparedness allows us to relax more into a situation. Just gently let your brain and body know that’s the plan for today.

…

Now that our mind is on board with us, let’s really let gravity settle us firmly on the ground or chair below. Close the eyes if that feels good to you, or you can use a soft gaze at the ground in front of you. This just helps minimize distractions. Take a cleansing breath and sink down into this space and time.

…

First thing to notice is that inside this body, at this moment, just sitting here being, with your eyes closed or gazing down, you are the only one in this moment with yourself. I like to even tell myself, in my mind, “Okay now. It’s just us in here.” That may sound a little silly, but I’ll give you a moment if you want to try it.

…

Now that it’s just you, and you are aware that it’s just you — go ahead and shift your focus to your breath. Just for a few moments, try to keep your attention adhered right to your breath. Follow it wherever it goes, in whatever rhythm, pace, length. Just observe it and notice yourself breathing.

…

Now let’s get a little inquisitive. 
 How did your mind like being told you were going to do some self-introspection today?
 How did it feel to close your eyes and settle down into yourself? 
 Was it silly to talk in your head to the Self in your head? 
 Did you feel a bit meta? Did your inside Self answer you? 
 Were you able to stay with your breath or was your mind quite noisy today? 
 Did you find yourself analyzing the breath instead of just watching it? 
 What was your body’s response to sitting so still with your eyes closed? 
 Are you feeling anxious or fidgety like you want to get up? Is your to-do list taunting you? 
 Did you get sleepy and mellow and have a hard time tracking your breaths? 
Are you willing and able to think on these inquiries for a few moments?

…

When life gets a bit chaotic, a few moments of self-to-self inquisitiveness can lead you on a path to the deep issues happening inside. If something goes terribly wrong and you feel an emotion but can’t identify it, you can take a pause wherever you are and ask yourself how you are doing. At those times when the busyness of the day is creating overwhelm, you can gather your thoughts one by one and ask your mind to sit and talk to you for a bit. You can use inquisitiveness to see where in your body you are storing any stress. You can get quiet and curious about why you are feeling frustrated on a day when things are going pretty well. Remember, if you are a trauma survivor, your body and brain have been remembering stress and pain for years. Sometimes your pain just wants to be heard. You may find yourself running from errand to errand and lose track of the fact that you haven’t eaten yet that today, or you are feeling physically tired and need a rest. And sometimes it’s more than that. Your mind wants to let you in on what it has been holding onto. The more you do self-inquiry, the more your mind and body will start to trust you, and they will be more willing to share with you how they feel and what they need from you.

Give yourself one last, delicious drink of a deep breath. Go back to that feeling of your hands resting in your lap. Maybe you notice those hands now — feeling cold, warm, stiff, or itchy. If you took several minutes just examining your own hands, they would have many things to say to you. “I need lotion.” “I need to wiggle.” “I’m cold.” The same concept works for your heart and your mind. You can become inquisitive about your inner being and get curious about what’s really going on in there anytime you want. After all, in there, it’s just you.

When you’re ready, open your eyes. Wiggle those fingers and toes. Let your body and brain know that you are done with this sit, but that you desire to have more private sessions as a regular practice. Thank them for participating in your meditation today. Enjoy the rest of your day and be well.

Mindful Mondays|Week 7: Gratitude

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Take a moment to let your mind know that today you are going to be focusing on gratitude. Allow your mind some space to take that in — even if it’s grumpy, feeling opposed to this, or thinking of it as a chore.

…

Let be whatever is there, whatever comes up. If any resistance did come up for you, ask that resistance if it can step aside just for ten minutes so you can be present in gratitude.

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Before we begin, settle down into your seat or cushion and feel the earth below supporting you. Trust yourself to listen to your heart today. Close your eyes if that feels safe. See if a small smile can find its way in the corner of your lips. Let’s take a deep breath and let our bottom nuzzle down into our seat. Sit upright with a tall spine without rigidity — alert by relaxed. Now just observe your body for a moment and see if anything comes up for you.

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If nothing did, that’s okay. If something in your body was giving you a sensation, focus on that for just a few breaths and see if it wants some attention.

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It’s okay to trust yourself here. This is a safe space — inside your mind, only you know what’s going on. Allow your breath to be calm and flowing freely. See once again if anything is coming up for you.

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Today isn’t just a gratitude practice. Today I want to practice self-focused gratitude. In your trauma healing journey, learning to trust yourself is a milestone. Listening to your body and staying present in difficult emotions is a big deal. In a moment, I am going to give you a while to find things to be grateful for. However, I want you to try to focus on yourself when you think about these gratitudes. What can you see in yourself, your body, your wisdom, your life, your accomplishments, your choices, your healing, your path for which you can thank yourself. Maybe it’s for doing this meditation or for hearing and paying attention to the sensations in your body a moment ago. Maybe you’ve hit a sobriety milestone that deserves some praise. Maybe you can recognize a boundary you adhered to with a difficult person recently. Maybe you finished a self-help book you had been putting off for a while. Maybe just that your body is here, allowing you to talk to it and celebrate it. If this is too difficult, that’s okay. If self-gratitude is too challenging, just focus on your breath for a few moments. If you are able to allow yourself to focus on your worthiness, think on those things. Allow gratitude to wash over you in a soul-cleansing way.

…

Take a moment to feel how your body feels in this space of focused self-gratefulness. How does it feel to shift your attention inward at your amazing self?

…

Part of our trauma recovery is learning to trust ourselves, hear our body and spirit, focus on our self-care, be kind and loving to ourselves, and truly be thankful for our stamina on this long healing road. In an effort to negate the painful, harsh, untrue words that were spoken and self-beliefs that were formed in our trauma, it’s paramount to affirm our love for ourselves and be thankful to self that we are still here plugging along in this path. I’m grateful you shared this space with me today. I’m honored to have guided you to a place of self-reflective praise. I applaud your self-celebration and encourage you to do it as often as you can. Until next time, keep on loving and caring for yourself.

Mindful Mondays|Week 5: Everything & Nothing

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Let’s begin by settling into your space.  Let’s ground together.  Take one slow, deep, grounding breath.  Before you close your eyes, scan the room in some detail.  Count a few things, find something new you haven’t seen before, or set your gaze on something that you really love.

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If your comfortable to do so, close your eyes.  See how the room looks on the other side of your eyelids.  Can you remember most of the things you scanned?  What was that one detail you noticed?  Do you remember the feeling you had as you gazed on that one object?

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Now let’s come to our faithful breath.  The breath that keeps on going, whether we are aware or not.  The breath that moves at the right pace for sitting to watch tv to climbing stairs to mowing the lawn.  The breath that always regulates itself just as we need it.  Just watch it in your mind.  Follow it like a puppy follows its human around.  With no desire to change it or force it, just to be with it because you want to be.

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If you wandered off like a stray puppy, come back to the breath and just enjoy following it with every inhale and exhale.  Use all your effort to stay with each breath, yet don’t do anything special at all.

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If your mind has slid off the path again, that’s okay.  With all your strength, pull it right back on the breath.  However, the more relaxed you approach your wandering, the easier to slide back into the lap of the breath.

…

Meditation, if you think about it really, it is everything.  It creates an awareness that, when practiced enough, can follow you through your whole day, bringing you back to the moment, back to reality.  Mindfulness is the almighty buzzword that is helping millions of people be conscious of their energy, emotions, mindset, lifestyle choices, words, and actions every day.  And … it’s nothing.  It’s just sitting here.  Effortlessly watching something that we do every moment of everyday.  We are choosing to sit here to observe ourselves doing the most obvious, unchallenging thing we do in a day – just breathing.  You aren’t focusing on the breath right this second, and yet there it still is just keepin’ on keepin’ on.  You don’t have to do anything to your breath; it’s a reflexive thing.  All the while, whenever you want, it’s this anchor that you can sit and watch.  You can even force your breath, hold it, change its pace.  But you don’t have to, and it will be just fine without your interference.  Without judgment, you can easily slide your mind back into the focusing practice, and then without demand, you will inevitably loss track of it again and again.

Mindfulness is training brains all of the globe to be aware of themselves and their surroundings – to be fully present.   What you are doing right now is a huge key to allowing you to be fully present in your day-to-day life. It’s reteaching your mind to be connected to your body to be connected to your spirit.  It’s helping you find purpose and accept your emotions.  It’s regulating your life.  Yet, it’s not really anything.  It’s just sitting, observing ourselves.  Sometimes we make really big deals out of things.  I know I do.  Meditation is a big deal that isn’t a big deal.  The effortlessness to return to your breath over and over is work, without working anything.  It’s being mindful of mindless breathing. 

Keep watching your breath.  Just try to focus on the next 3 breaths, from the inhale to the end of the exhale. 

…

Isn’t that amazing?!  You were watching yourself as a human being minus the human doing.  Taking away the doing and just being for just a few moments.  That’s incredible!  Sit here as long as you like after this meditation is over and just keep being.  Meditation is the most important thing you’ll do today, and yet it isn’t anything at all. 

When you are ready, open your eyes.  When you are really ready, feel free to get up, and carry that state of Being into your day as you are Doing all the other important things.  Congratulate yourself on doing the thing that is nothing and everything.  

Mindful Mondays|Week 3: Calm, Cool, Collected

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Today’s meditation can be used as a regular practice or as an emergency timeout to calm during or after a trigger. 

I encourage to sit very comfortably – maybe in your favorite recliner or a sofa.  It’s even appropriate to lay on your back or the fetal position if you are using this in a stressful situation.  Invite your body to stay alert, but to relax down into whatever ground is supporting your weight.  Visualization is helpful in this practice today, so if you can sort through visions in your mind, I welcome you to close your eyes.  If you are activated and need help staying grounded, I welcome you to softly fix your gaze on something nearby you in the room that makes you feel at ease.  This could be a pretty wall color, a picture of someone you love, your pet laying beside you, or your reflection if a mirror is visible to you.  Let’s immediately ask our breath to aid us for the next few minutes by taking three deep breaths in a row.  You want to drink in from your nose as much air fills your belly, ribs, and lungs.  Hold it at the top for just a brief moment before letting it cascade slowly and controlled out from your mouth.  This may look like a count of 3 to inhale and 6 to exhale, with a brief pause in between. 

For those more experienced in breathwork, this could be a deep 6 count inhale, holding for 3-4 counts, followed by a slow 12-15 count decompression exhale. 

Whatever works for you – take three cleansing breaths when you’re ready.

…

Now let’s all return to our natural breath and take a moment to focus on our heartbeat.  Can you hear it?  Can you feel it?  Is it beating fast and hard because you are still activated?  Is it finding a calm rhythm from the deep breathing?  If you need, pause this, and redo three more deep cleansing breaths. 

Focus on your belly and ribs expanding.  Focus on your chest rising.  Notice your heart settling into your chest, relaxing the way you settled down into your seat, sofa, bed, or the ground.  Eventually, you want your heart to calm to the point where you don’t actively feel it without touching your chest.  Keep listening.

…

Now that you’ve self-soothed with some breaths, focus away from your heartbeat and breathing to allow your eyes to see the object you are gazing at or conjure a picture in your mind if your eyes are closed.  Whatever picture makes you feel calm.  A pretty color, a scene of nature, a pet.  Spend a moment focusing on this mind picture or whatever you are gazing at.  Notice it’s textures, patterns, colors, maybe a scent or a feeling that comes alongside the visual experience.

…

Calm, cool, collected is always available to you.  You can calm yourself by grounding into the room that’s present around you or an object you create in your mind.  You can cool a hot temper or an activated nervous system with deep breaths and elongated exhales.  You can collect yourself by taking this time out to ask your thoughts to pause while you focused on deep breathing and then a focal gaze.  You are safe in your hunkered down relaxed pose. 

You can begin to relax your gaze off your focus point and come back fully into the room.  You can open your eyes if you feel ready. 

You have calmed your own racing heart, cooled your stormy insides, and collected your thought pattern.  Congratulate yourself for taking this time out, especially if you used this in a triggering situation. 

Release your attention back to the current space and allow yourself to slowly get up before acclimating back into whatever is next for your day. 

Mindful Mondays| Week 1: And

*Author Note* If you prefer to listen or watch instead of or along with -
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Welcome, my name is Sara from Full Circle Wellspring. And today is your Mindful Monday. Let’s get started. Today I want to talk about the word: And. A small little three letter word. 

So get comfortable. You can lay down or sit in a cross-legged position on the floor or in a chair. Somewhere you can be comfortable for just a few short minutes. To still your mind, take a few deep breaths to help you arrive here right now. 

….

Let’s return our breathing to natural rhythm. 

Let’s focus on this New Year together. What a great time and place; an opportunity we have for a fresh start. This year I’d like to challenge you consider the word “and”. 

Right now you’re sitting here focusing on your breath or a bodily sensation — feeling the warmth of your hands or feeling your belly rise and fall with the breath. While you are breathing, your body is also breathing you. Breathing is an action of Being AND Doing. Same thing with our thoughts. We can be watching our thoughts, creating our thoughts, AND our thoughts are always happening. 

In our trauma recovery journey together, we are whole. We are a complete person worthy of love and worthy of respect, AND we can also love ourselves enough on want to continue on improving our mind, body, spirit. On improving in our trauma recovery path. We can be happy right where we are, AND we can be looking forward to even more improvement. You can be feeling very healthy and happy in a career AND also challenge yourself. You could be feeling really happy at this moment AND also grieving the year that passed. Maybe a lot of things happened that you haven’t quite processed yet. AND all that is okay. 

Let’s continue to feel our breath a few more minutes. Don’t force the breath. Just watch it. Observe it while it does its thing. Let’s pay attention to where we feel the breath the strongest— maybe the nostrils, right above the upper lip, or maybe you want to focus on your seat in the chair or on the floor. Let’s just take a few minutes and remember the duality that we have in this life. We can breathe, AND we can also be breathed. Let yourself be breathed right now. 

…. 

This year maybe we challenge ourselves especially in the complexity of our trauma recovery journey to remind ourselves that things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. You can do hard things, and you can also give yourself space to rest and recover. You can feel multiple emotions at one time, and that’s okay. Try this week to see how it feels to eliminate one of those other three letter words “but” with the word “and”. See if that doesn’t change some of the perspective in your heart. I know for me personally when I catch myself saying “but”, and I can change it to an “and” that I’m reminded of the flexibility that life has offered me by giving me multiple options and opportunities. I’m not limited, and I’m not a victim. And we can do hard things. We can do challenging things. We can grow, and we can also take time to rest and reflect. We can find that balance. It’s not an easy journey. Trauma recovery never is, and I’ll never promise you that — AND you can find support and encouragement here through it. 

This has been your Mindful Monday. I am your certified trauma recovery coach, Sara, for Full Circle Wellspring, and I look forward to our next time together. 

When you are ready, re-acclimate your body to the room and open your eyes slowly and enjoy the rest of your day.