Mindful Mondays|Week 9: Inquisitiveness

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Let’s get ready to have a few minutes of mindfulness together. Sit comfortably with a tall spine but a relaxed posture. Place your hands gently on your lap or knees so that you can feel your hands resting comfortably. For this practice, before anything else, let your mind know that we are going to get curious about it today; we are going to do some self-inquiry. Sometimes the mind needs a little heads up about what the game plan is. For trauma survivors, structure and preparedness allows us to relax more into a situation. Just gently let your brain and body know that’s the plan for today.

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Now that our mind is on board with us, let’s really let gravity settle us firmly on the ground or chair below. Close the eyes if that feels good to you, or you can use a soft gaze at the ground in front of you. This just helps minimize distractions. Take a cleansing breath and sink down into this space and time.

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First thing to notice is that inside this body, at this moment, just sitting here being, with your eyes closed or gazing down, you are the only one in this moment with yourself. I like to even tell myself, in my mind, “Okay now. It’s just us in here.” That may sound a little silly, but I’ll give you a moment if you want to try it.

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Now that it’s just you, and you are aware that it’s just you — go ahead and shift your focus to your breath. Just for a few moments, try to keep your attention adhered right to your breath. Follow it wherever it goes, in whatever rhythm, pace, length. Just observe it and notice yourself breathing.

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Now let’s get a little inquisitive. 
 How did your mind like being told you were going to do some self-introspection today?
 How did it feel to close your eyes and settle down into yourself? 
 Was it silly to talk in your head to the Self in your head? 
 Did you feel a bit meta? Did your inside Self answer you? 
 Were you able to stay with your breath or was your mind quite noisy today? 
 Did you find yourself analyzing the breath instead of just watching it? 
 What was your body’s response to sitting so still with your eyes closed? 
 Are you feeling anxious or fidgety like you want to get up? Is your to-do list taunting you? 
 Did you get sleepy and mellow and have a hard time tracking your breaths? 
Are you willing and able to think on these inquiries for a few moments?

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When life gets a bit chaotic, a few moments of self-to-self inquisitiveness can lead you on a path to the deep issues happening inside. If something goes terribly wrong and you feel an emotion but can’t identify it, you can take a pause wherever you are and ask yourself how you are doing. At those times when the busyness of the day is creating overwhelm, you can gather your thoughts one by one and ask your mind to sit and talk to you for a bit. You can use inquisitiveness to see where in your body you are storing any stress. You can get quiet and curious about why you are feeling frustrated on a day when things are going pretty well. Remember, if you are a trauma survivor, your body and brain have been remembering stress and pain for years. Sometimes your pain just wants to be heard. You may find yourself running from errand to errand and lose track of the fact that you haven’t eaten yet that today, or you are feeling physically tired and need a rest. And sometimes it’s more than that. Your mind wants to let you in on what it has been holding onto. The more you do self-inquiry, the more your mind and body will start to trust you, and they will be more willing to share with you how they feel and what they need from you.

Give yourself one last, delicious drink of a deep breath. Go back to that feeling of your hands resting in your lap. Maybe you notice those hands now — feeling cold, warm, stiff, or itchy. If you took several minutes just examining your own hands, they would have many things to say to you. “I need lotion.” “I need to wiggle.” “I’m cold.” The same concept works for your heart and your mind. You can become inquisitive about your inner being and get curious about what’s really going on in there anytime you want. After all, in there, it’s just you.

When you’re ready, open your eyes. Wiggle those fingers and toes. Let your body and brain know that you are done with this sit, but that you desire to have more private sessions as a regular practice. Thank them for participating in your meditation today. Enjoy the rest of your day and be well.